Stress can be defined as the degree to which one feels overwhelmed or unable to cope due to pressures that are perceived as unmanageable.

 Life is fast-paced with more expectations, obligations and choices than ever before.

From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, with the unpleasant screech of the alarm or the blare of the radio, we are catapulted into another day.

 On waking, we are all flooded with thoughts. Thoughts from yesterday, from that critical conversation, from that last argument, or opinions about tomorrow’s important meeting, today’s shopping list, or that dreaded conversation with a friend or a colleague etc. We might respond by jumping out of bed and throwing ourselves into action, or we might hide beneath the covers dreading the unavoidable day ahead.  

Either way, we start the day already in autopilot mode. We start the day in an anxious or depressed mood tone. We start the day wrestling with Stress.

Once we start the day in that fashion, it is not easy to find balance and ease. Whatever happens next can only add the oil to the burning fire. We are in a full grip of Stress.

 Stress does not only occur in response to unpleasant or unpredictable events such as a flat tyre, challenging assignment, an unexpected bill, traffic jams or fallout with a friend.

Stress can also occur when our days are filled with repetitive, mundane, unrewarding, and meaningless tasks. Stress can arise from too many choices and options; we are all faced with every day. Pressure can even occur from too many and too extreme good events in one's life.

Stress is the unavoidable companion of modern life.

 All these everyday situations cause a very high state of physiological arousal in our minds and body. Regardless of the condition, if we neglect to recognise this high arousal state and do something about it, this can lead to various types of disease. From a physiological point of view, our body, when stressed, is constantly in overdrive which is unpleasant and very unhealthy. It is a body in a state of chronic inflammation—ideal ground for a wide range of mental and physical diseases.

Most of us live in a chronic state of Stress. Accumulative Stress, not recognised and not attended in the right way, can lead to a phenomenon called Burnout. It can also lead to various forms of chronic diseases.

 

What can we do about it?

 How can we help ourselves cope with daily life and reduce that constant tension within our body, mind, and relationships?

How can we change that unhealthy state into a calm, balanced and healthy state of being?

There are many ways we can "dance with Stress":

 Unhealthy fix:

 The most common ways are offering a quick fix and short-term relief, which are just pulling us further away from authentic and healthy ways of dealing with Stress. Compulsive eating, gambling, drinking, smoking, excessive working, endless hours glazing through our screens, porn addiction, loss of meaningful connections. Those are only a few ways we tend to turn to calm that hyper-aroused state of our brain and body. We all know that these “shortcuts” only lead us away from the solution and more towards more significant problems. But we all think that we are immune, and real addiction is happening to other people, “not me”. We all have a blind spot for our behaviour. Often, we are not even aware that we have already created the unhealthy habit of some addiction. Even when we are not addicted to anything tangible and feel miserable, depleted, tearful, numb, and joyless, we may suffer from chronic Stress or Burnout. We are at the doorstep of a disease.

 Healthy and sustainable solution:

 One healthy and sustainable approach to stress management is the cultivation of emotional awareness and emotional intelligence.

 How can one learn a language of emotions?

What is the language of emotions?

Language of emotions increases awareness of our emotional world and integrates those emotions with our thoughts and body sensations.  

Language of emotions has two basic blocks: Emotional Awareness and Emotional Intelligence.

 What is Emotional Awareness?

Emotional awareness is the ability to recognise and make sense of emotions.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions.

 Summarising EI in a nutshell:

 ·      The first step in learning the language of emotions is becoming aware of our emotions and our feelings.

 It is only when we start paying attention to our feelings, emotions, and mood that we can start noticing them. It can often be challenging to untangle between many emotions we can hold and identify them individually. Most of the time, we lack the language for a wide range of possible emotions we experience.

 

·      The second step is developing the ability to allow the space for a full range of emotions as they arise. This step is also tricky. It can be unpleasant to feel an emotion and often trigger a desire to deny them, ignore them, or cover them. Typical human nature is to avoid what is perceived as unpleasant automatically.

 

·      The third step is learning how to hold emotions with care and compassion, learn important lessons from them and manage them without hostility. Not much easier than the first and the second step.

 If this all sounds complex, fuzzy, or complicated, the good news is that all those skills are learnable. They are learnable and necessary skills that we can develop and cultivate to maintain good health.

 Let's look at an old Buddhist quote:

 "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional". 

 Stress is an inevitable pain of modern life, and Emotional intelligence is a remedy for turning suffering into an option.

Do you want to learn how to alleviate the suffering that Stress often brings along?

We think it is essential, for good health!